At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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