Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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