sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize