Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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