"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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