Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
