it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
