dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
