I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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