I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Randomize
