batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
