So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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