I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
