So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Enjoy the penises
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
