my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
