just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
