Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im six kinds of drunk right now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
