I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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