imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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