Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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