After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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