Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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