i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
