If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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