she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
