I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
FUCK WHALES
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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