Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
