I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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