So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
