hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
