Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
