You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
