he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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