This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I did not marry a roomba.
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