Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
