hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
