could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
