I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
