You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
