i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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