is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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