There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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