Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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(816): View more from Missouri

apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?

(+48): View more from Poland

Poland

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(660): View more from Missouri

The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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(503): View more from Oregon

dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off

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(773): View more from Illinois

We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao

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