we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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