Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
