left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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