I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
