Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
