Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
