if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
