I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
