i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
