You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
