More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
