Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
