ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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