"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
