I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
