take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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