don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
