i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I could make wine with my vomit
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
