You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
