Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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