You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
