Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
