508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
