There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
