He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
