you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize